A Song For You

Verse 1:
/Off but I'm on, need I say more?/ What and how do I do, when can't reach the door/ Seems like a chore, one that ain't too fruitful/ Makes me question self-worth and if I'm that useful/ Hate you but I love you, always comforting/ Known you'd never leave me here wondering/ Since Dad left, you've been right there by me/ Throwing gas on the fire so it ain't that dying/ School after school, you kept near by me/ So it was either fists flying or me, broke down, crying/ Over Dad, step-dad, always inspiring/ Me, to bring hate, either out or inside me/ Had me five years old put a kid on a stretcher/ Daycare calling' Mom, telling' her to come get him/ Diggin' in the sandbox, tunnel to hell/ Naw, I ain't a shrink, but I think, something had fell/

Verse 2:
Guidance counselor after counselor, you stood right by me/ 1st thru 5th, as the time went flying/ Fight after fight, you ain't stop trying/ Then you'd guilt me on Sunday as if you ain't try me/ Mom's tripping on us talkin', says I shouldn't know you/ I'm playing dumb like "Who?" She says, "He'll control you"/ Held me when she was hurting, mental or physical/ And when it got pivotal, you proved to be critical/ Woodbine, woodbine, just you, me, and Mom's/ I miss it so much, but, fuck that song/ Ten years old: you showed me what coke does/ Never could recall when you showed me what hope was/ Showed me: Love doesn't last, shoe always drops/ And if I ever got close, made sure it always stopped/ When we left the city, you hopped in with me/ Tried to let you go, but I knew you'd miss me/

Verse 3:
/Always said you were enough and I always bought that/ If I tried and forget, you always brought back/ If it was self-esteem, I always lost that/ And you'd look aways, as if, you ain't saw that/ Took away my fight, just left me to take it/ Fuck was that about? You knew that I'd hate it/ Turned cheek after cheek, until I regressed/ Just began to keep quiet, kept it all in my chest/ Play some heavy metal, start dreaming' of death/ Start reciting all the reasons that I would have left/ And here we are again, a decade later/ The same mix playing and I reach for the fader/ Nineteen years, you've been playing my savior/ But every time I think, it was you'd who I'd cater/ Matter fact, fuck you, and your backhanded blessings/ I'm sick and tired of you, my grandstanding depression/